Anon Angel #3 "Gravitating to Submit"

1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the golden princess. Look, I don't make up these rhymes, they just appear in my head. Also, no shade to 1, but 3 is a lucky number for me. Anywho!

“Hi Elise,

I have a deadline. I need to summit an application for a competitive university course. I set myself a deadline of yesterday to send it in, but at 11.30pm last night I rain checked and decided I would give myself a few more days. It just wasn’t glowing.

In an interview setting I feel like I can be myself - authentic and real - but when pen goes to paper, I struggle to connect the words to how I feel and it comes across bland and stagnant, run of the mill. My application needs a pop of colour - a bit more pizzaz.

How do I come across as myself in writing? How do I sound professional yet personable? Heartfelt? Real? Without being too casual? Where’s the balance?

I want to ensure they put down my application and say “we need to meet her - she’s on the list for an interview”. 

Gravitating towards clicking that submit button, your guidance is so valued and appreciated."

Hi angel!

First of all, it must be said, I’m very far from being an expert when it comes to boundaries, which I think is what you’re referring to, when it comes to the professional yet personable balance.

I’ve been thinking about this topic myself at the moment, because I’m working in service again, and when I finally rest my head on the pillow at night, I reflect on all of the personal stories I shared that day to keep conversation with the people flowing.

So you’re not alone there. In fact, anyone calling themselves an expert on boundaries might be stuck in a stagnant cycle, saying and doing the same thing over and over, which can be useful, for sure, but - well - I just lost my train of thought because I got so bored with the idea of repeating myself over and over. It’s just not very authentic, to your word choice, or real, is it. Neither is the idea that we must have different personalities for work and for our personal life. This concept feels made up to me.

I remember being face to face with my friend Brisa, one of my muse’s in life, she was whispering to me across the desk that we shared at our corporate job together in Berlin, she said “everyone here in this building Elise is making it all up”. She said “no one knows what they’re doing, everyone is just figuring it out, we’re all learning for the first time”. I’ve never looked back since.

Except, maybe, thinking twice about the lack of boundaries I had in all of the shared spaces that I’ve worked, which reminds me of my school report card that famously said, many times, “Elise would do even better at school if she didn’t talk so much”. So, look, there you go, no one is perfect. In fact, I’m so grateful for how much I spoke with my colleagues because they went on to become some of the great loves of my life. We can get more out of a job than security and skill development, if we’re really lucky.

A job is so much more than a job. It’s a purpose and socialisation. If you’re lucky, your job can reflect your values as a person, which is exactly why your application needs to reflect who you are, personally, not just professionally. They need to know your values. So often we are taught to write differently to how we speak. Which was a tricky sentence for my head to wrap around now, because that process feels so unnatural.

We are more than a list of skills on a piece of paper. We are the embodiment of our lived experience. We are energy. Energy flows where attention goes, and in this day and age, it is an absolute privilege to have the ability to focus our attention, living in this chaotic world. Let alone ability to choose where we feel our energy is best spent.

Now I know you angel, even if you’re anonymous here on this platform, so I can speak directly to you, for whom I have had the honour of getting to know for nearly 9 years, and I can attest to the simple fact that you have a heart of pure gold. Your energy is sunshine. There are no words I can do justice to describe how special you are. Only you know what it feels like to be you, and yet, to know you is to adore you, because you light up every room you walk in to, and that’s exactly why you’re going to make the best candidate for this interview.

Not because you have the qualifications on paper, but because you’re a joy to be around, who makes other people feel safe, seen and heard. You have lived so much life and you have so much to offer, in terms of your experience, and that is invaluable to your application. You are the value in your application. Your value is your spirit. All you have to do is focus on what makes you special, what makes your story unique, and then, sock it to them baby.

Something my acting coach Sommer once said was “be strong and wrong”. This gives me strength when I’m making split decisions in the moment. Realising people are either going to hate you, or love you, this gives you more space to just be yourself. Whatever they decide, that’s on them. You respecting yourself enough to express how much this opportunity means to you is a huge milestone.

The fact you’re stopping to pause and even consider how much the idea of this interview makes you feel, now that is the type of deep thought that is going to stop your interviewer in their tracks and maybe even allow them to sigh in great relief, knowing there is someone like you who is this invested in what they need people to study and go on to do…

After all, that’s the point of an application, literally applying yourself, focussing on this piece of writing, so that one day you can apply your energy to the task at hand, that these people want to train you to do. They want to hear you’re committed to this!

So the cherry on top for them will be to discover that you’re going to do more than learn, you’re also going to be yourself while you do, and your fellow students are going to love learning alongside of you, because you care so much, and that is what is most important. It is the thought that counts after all. And can I just say, your clarity speaks volume. How well you articulate yourself, as you did in that email to me so eloquently, reminds me of something my therapist said once, “your psyche is a nice place to be”.

You got this.

I’m rooting for you, Elise xoxo

PS. I wrote this entire thing while speaking to myself out loud. I suggest you try that next time you want to say something that’s coming from your heart <333 I promise you will feel confident with your words, when you feel them resonate in your body.

PPS. Calling all Angels! If you want to be Anonymous Angel #4 please share what’s on your chest with me in your own words. Zero limit word count. Link to email is here.